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Shifting Gears

Category Archives: inspiration

stuff that inspires me

Meandering

31 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by judithar321 in art, environment, inspiration, meditation, pets, writing

≈ 1 Comment

crooked road

This summer I’ve begun numerous posts and articles – ideas that haven’t quite gelled. This week alone I started one post on lipstick and another about a news story that I read back in July. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who is good at finishing things, taking a project and seeing it through to the end. When it comes to writing for myself, however, it’s not so straightforward.

This morning, Karina and I went for a walk at Mount Misery. As we wandered down its broad trails, we met a friendly, apricot-colored Cockapoo named Goldie. A little later we heard something big running through the trees. It was a white-tailed deer and Karina gave chase. I called and called, until she finally returned to my side.

A minute later, I heard the loud patter of rain hitting the  leaves above. Under their shelter, only a few cooling drops made it to the back of my neck.

The rain changed the look of the trail and for a few moments, I wasn’t sure which turn to take.  We backtracked, and then I realized we were on the right path after all. That slight change in the light and resulting misstep reminded me that meandering, both in life and in writing, is important—essential, actually.

Those unfinished pieces and half-baked ideas have not been a waste of time. You have to keep working, even when you feel as though you are going nowhere. Regular practice provides us with more opportunities to get lost and then pay attention when we find ourselves on the edge of new territory.

One of the projects I’ve been working on this summer is a piece about an artist I admire. I have learned much from her and her work. Among other things, she has reminded me that making mistakes and following false leads can force you to explore unexpected places. Meandering, wandering, starting and stopping: all good.

Eventually, something will take hold, and you’ll find your way home.

straight road

Summer Vacation

19 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by judithar321 in environment, friendship, health, inspiration

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Little Cranberry Island, Maine, vacation

Mainemorning

Summer vacation: those two little words convey freedom and release with undertones of adventure;  a break from a routine that is beginning to feel like a rut. The opportunity to read in bed before breakfast, without the usual sense of urgency to get moving. The chance to let loose, be daring — to strip off one’s clothes and dive into the waves lapping against a fogged-in and deserted beach, for instance, or to climb a small mountain and surrender oneself to a rocky, green fairyland.

Cairns

green rocks mosspools mosspools2 mossyrocks rockwall woodsyladder

To vacate that routine, let go, and just wander. Take notice of what it means to live on an island, where discarded stuff eventually gets swallowed by the landscape. 

nestledJeep

Jeep2

Paul and I spent last week with friends in a big house on a small island in Maine. It was a loose, undemanding group. We were able to arrange activities so that everyone got to spend their time the way they liked — including the children, who were happy to hike with any adult willing to take the hardest, scariest climb that day.

We cooked and ate beautiful food, had a front row seat to this year’s perseid meteor showers, and collected treasures from the island’s rocky beaches.

I arrived home refreshed, and, at long last, fully seduced by summer’s glow. I’ll hang onto that whiff of freedom for as long as I can. It’ll come in handy when summer’s light fades and the sea monsters of winter begin their yearly descent.

sea monster_cropped

These Skies Are Meant for Dreaming

09 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by judithar321 in friendship, inspiration, marriage, mid-life transition, travel

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

betterafter50.com, clouds, midlife migration, moving house, photography, summer skies

Now that the weather has settled down a bit, we’ve been spending a lot of time out on our deck. During the last heat wave, I read out there in the evenings. The sky was amazing.

PinkClouds 1 PinkClouds2 PinkClouds3

A few days later, the humidity blew out and we were treated to a series of cartoon clouds.

Cartoon1 cartoon2 Cartoon4We are also cooking and eating some terrific meals on this deck. Paul has become expert at baking food on the grill that would normally go in the oven — the eggs on top of this shakshuka, for example.

Shakshuka

Last June, I posted a piece that was sparked by a meal on this deck. In it, I shared our dreams of moving on to a different kind of life in a new place. I had forgotten about that post until a couple of weeks ago when I was contacted by an editor at betterafter50.com. They have reprinted the post under the title, “Should We Sell the House?” 

I think we should sell the house. And though it feels like our progress toward that end has been glacial, it has been steady, and we both enjoy the conversations about ‘what-if’ and ‘where.’

We’ll get there, I’m sure. It’s going to take a lot of work and careful planning. In the meantime, though, our head-in-the-clouds dreaming is, as one of my dinner guests from the June post would say, “luscious.”

The sun was bright, the woods were deep….

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by judithar321 in environment, inspiration, meditation, pets

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Concord MA, dog walk, dogs, environment, Mount Misery, photography

heading in

The morning walk is sacred in our house. We go every day without fail unless there’s something falling from the sky that makes it too dangerous. No worries about that on this day. It was a beautiful summer morning.

The sun shot through the rows of trees, lighting up the mossy rocks and stumps. It can be hard to get the camera to see things the way you do. (You’ll see more if you click on the photos to enlarge them.)

woods1 woods2-moss woods3-soldiers

But sometimes a snapshot captures the moment perfectly.

riverdip-4

And other times, your patience is rewarded.

circles

The Mystery of Memory

29 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by judithar321 in art, books, inspiration, meditation, writing

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

"We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves", family, Karen Joy Fowler, memory, psychology

My grandparents lived in a brick house with black shutters. It sits as it always has on a tree-lined street and maintains the solid address of 25 Cabot Street.

As you face the house, the driveway and yard to the right dip down at a steep pitch, flattening when they reach the back yard, making the lawn’s grassy slope a safe place for rolling or sledding, depending on the season.

The yard behind the house abuts a neighbor’s, and when my grandparents lived there, it was home to a couple of pear trees and my grandfather’s rose garden.

25 Cabot Street-photo-2

These are the facts as I remember them, and snapshots like this one verify my mental image of the place.

But the remainder of my memories of that house and its inhabitants — the scratch of my grandfather’s whiskers when I kissed his cheek, or the smell of the single rose he’d place in a vase atop a mahogany hutch in the living room — are mine alone. I don’t know what my brothers see and hear when they mentally walk through its rooms, if they do, or if that house haunts their dreams the way it does mine.

I loved my grandmother, but I adored my grandfather, and he adored all of us. Again, I have evidence: a photographic proof made in his basement darkroom with notes.

Poppy's proof

Poppy'snotes

Because he died a few weeks before my 11th birthday, my recollections of drawing with him at our kitchen table, or counting sidewalk cracks as we took our ritual Sunday walk around his neighborhood come in snatches like a crudely edited home movie.

My feelings connected with a time so long ago that ended too soon were reawakened as I read Karen Joy Fowler’s latest novel, We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves, which explores the tricky terrain of memory.WE-ARE-ALL-COMPLETELY-BESIDE-OURSELVES-jacket_300x450-200x300

Rosemary, the story’s narrator, was five years old when her sister Fern was abruptly removed from their home. Rosemary’s earliest memories are of living on a farm, where she was heaped with attention, and where she and Fern were always together, a tangle of limbs on their mother’s lap. Until one day, Fern was gone.

What happened? The memories Rosemary has held onto for years are a quavery, incomplete version of events. Her older brother’s memories are another, more judgmental accounting of what happened and why. Eventually, Rosemary’s instincts reveal yet another story.

When an early connection is abruptly cut off, the depth of that loss is something one could spend a lifetime pondering and exploring. After years of tamping down some important truths, Rosemary eventually releases her memories and unravels the mystery of how Fern came to leave.

It is a fascinating read and well worth the tears that come during its deeply satisfying conclusion.

I’ve never had a sister, and I’ve never lost a sibling. Yet I understand what it means to lose someone important during your formative years. Their absence and your imperfect memories may haunt you. But you also might realize that some love is powerful enough to shape and sustain you long after time has reduced its face and voice to shadowy afterimages.

 

Blue and Pink

01 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by judithar321 in environment, friendship, inspiration, pets

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

blue, gardening, pink, spring

iris

Iris

In the interest of good diplomatic relations and international connectivity, I thought I’d take a page from my friend Heather’s blog and do a color-themed post.

The truth is, I’d been meaning to capture all the spring pinks and blues in my yard before they disappear. I almost missed my chance because a heat wave this week has wilted many of them. So I rushed through the yard last evening, clicking away.

Does anyone else remember Polish director Krzysztof Kieślowski’s “Three Colors” trilogy? It came out in the early 1990’s and at the time, “Bleu” was my favorite. As it turns out, bleu in all its variations is my favorite garden color, but pink is nice too.

false indigo

False indigo

Columbine

Columbine

Sadly, this Little Miss Kim lilac has lost all her color. Before her flowers opened, they were the bright color of Welch’s grape jelly. But what you can’t see here — or smell — unfortunately, is her fragrance which filled the yard yesterday morning after the heat hurried up her blooms.

Miss Kim2

Columbine2

More columbine

These geraniums grow wild in the woods behind my house. They are welcome “volunteers” in my garden. Even when the flowers are gone, I love the shape of their leaves.

wild geraniums

Wild geraniums

Ditto this wild flox.

wild flox

Wild flox

And these pansies ….. I planted them by Boots’s grave last fall and, surprisingly, they came back after the winter’s cold and snow. It feels as if Boots is giving us a little wave. Pats to you, dear Boots.

pansies for Boots

And speaking of beloved pets, and in keeping with today’s theme, isn’t Karina’s polka dot collar just the thing for spring? (Click on the photo for a closer look.)

polka dots

And, of course, like some of the prettiest flowers, she has a very pink tongue.

pink tongue

Travel Lessons

20 Monday May 2013

Posted by judithar321 in adult children, environment, friendship, health, inspiration, travel

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

baking, cooking, culture, desert, food, Morocco

ruins with sunspots

The last few mornings I have reluctantly pulled myself from a dreamy, pleasant sleep. It’s not so much the dreams that I want to hold onto, but the peaceful, satisfied feelings they leave behind.

a sign

Maybe they are my way of remembering Morocco. For almost two weeks I was blissfully free of my usual, and (fortunately) mostly mundane worries. Day followed day, each unique and memorable in its own way, allowing me to use my brain and senses in ways I rarely do at home.

0-view from above

I started keeping lists of words in the local Berber dialect, along with lists of names. When people told me their name, they often told me what it meant. Karim, the name given my son, for example, means generous.

vocab list

Two different Moroccan cooks showed me that you can make delicious food with just a bowl, one simple knife, the right ingredients, and two strong hands. No measuring cups or fancy appliances required.

couscous

Couscous

daily bread

Daily bread 

By the way, in case you are wondering, I have several photos and videos of these cooks in action, but I can’t share them here. That’s another thing I learned. Putting your image online is considered shameful for Moroccan women — it is interpreted as showing yourself in a way that is not appropriate.

Moroccans grow a lot of their own food and they even know how to farm in the desert.

Young date palms

Young date palms

Desert wheat

Desert wheat

hand-wheat close up

As we were driving over the Atlas Mountains at the beginning of our long journey home, Paul turned to me, and said, “Wherever we decide to go next, I want to have a reason for going there. There has to be something specific we want to see or do.”

I knew exactly what he meant. Travel will never be the same again. We will no longer be content to just visit a country’s museums, stroll along its streets, or loiter in its cafes without some other goal in mind. Whether our objective is to learn a new language, take a cooking class, or understand a specific event, we won’t be satisfied to simply scratch the surface.

If Morocco taught us anything, it’s that finding common ground with people from other lands and cultures, no matter how insurmountable the language barrier may seem, is worth the effort. We will carry Morocco’s people in our hearts always, just as we will forever be grateful to the one who brought us there.

Karime

Beyond the Hijab: Woman to Woman in Morocco

07 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by judithar321 in adult children, friendship, inspiration, politics, travel

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

culture, henna tattoos, hijab, Morocco, Peace Corps, women, Womens Voices for Change

Henna tattoos back

Morocco was never on my travel wish list. New Zealand, Iceland, and Brazil were all possibilities. But a visit to a predominately Muslim, developing country in northern Africa? I hadn’t even considered it. All of that changed, however, when my 26-year-old son Karsten joined the Peace Corps.

The fact that he was assigned to work there not only put Morocco squarely on my radar, it allowed me to transcend the typical tourist experience and literally break bread with ordinary Moroccans—people whose language, dress, and culture are very different from my own.

I’ve been home just a couple of weeks, and I’m still sifting through the many sights, sounds, and tastes of my trip, yet there’s one aspect that stands out—the connection I made with the women I met there.

My first introduction to a Moroccan woman was, oddly enough, during a video chat. My husband and I were conversing with our son shortly after he had arrived in Sefrou for training, when he invited his host mother, Fatima, to join us. At this point, Fatima had already nursed our son through one illness and had given him his Moroccan name, Karim.

In what remained of my high school French, I tried to thank her for taking such good care of “mon fils.” While my French vocabulary failed me, my facial expression and our immediate connection did not. “Avec plaisir,” Fatima replied with a smile that blew through the miles and burst through the screen like a warm breeze.

A year later, Karsten now lives in Tinghir, a city located south of the High Atlas Mountains, where he teaches life skills, like typing and AIDS awareness, to a co-ed group of local teens. During the week my husband and I visited him this past April, he and a Moroccan counterpart organized games and exercises to help his students develop confidence and communication skills.

“There is definitely a feeling of sisterhood among the women here,” he told me one morning as we walked through town.

I felt the truth of that observation almost immediately. On the first full day after we arrived in Tinghir, I found myself sitting upstairs from Karsten’s place in his landlord’s apartment, surrounded by a group of women wearing the traditional hijab (head scarf) and ankle-length skirts or dresses.

Laila, who speaks a little French, was decorating my hands with henna. Rachida, who had her young daughter in tow, spoke to me in English. The rest, friends and relatives of my son’s landlady, chattered away in the local Berber dialect.

Without my son present to translate, I did a lot of nodding and smiling. But Rachida clearly wanted more than just small talk.

“What do you think about the head scarf?” she asked me. (Most of the mature women I encountered in Morocco wore the traditional head scarf and a long dress or skirt — at least out in public —but not everyone does.) I told her that I thought it was fine if a woman chooses to wear it. She nodded her head and said that the “choice” was sometimes dictated by a strict father or husband. I had the feeling that Rachida was talking about herself. She clearly regretted not continuing her education. Once they are married, she told me, “Moroccan women are responsible for everything.” It was a lament I was to hear from other women as well.

I felt the full force of Rachida’s assertion a few days later when my husband, Karsten, three of his male friends, and I drove through a nearby town, passing cafes overflowing with male customers, while the few visible women were on the road, laden with babies, groceries, or bundles of alfalfa they carried home on their backs to feed the family donkey.

On that day, my femaleness, even more than my Western appearance made me self-conscious. I felt truly alien, oppressed by the difference between this place I was visiting and the place I call home.

Yet those differences seemed to dissipate whenever I was with a Moroccan woman; even if my daily outfit of jeans and a long-sleeved T shirt clashed with her long dress and hijab, even if we couldn’t communicate through talk, her friendliness, interest, and generosity fostered a feeling of camaraderie that coursed through our time together.

Where did this feeling of sisterhood come from? Part of it, I’m sure, had to do with the high esteem these women have for my son and the respect he shows them. In fact, one conversation I overheard between Peace Corps volunteers during an earlier leg of our trip was focused on ways they could teach their young male charges to treat girls with more respect.

Moroccans are naturally hospitable, and making strangers feel welcome is an ingrained part of their culture. Family is very important there as well, so having “Karim’s mama and baba” in their home was considered something of an honor. Beyond that—and I don’t know this for sure—I believe that our mutual femaleness in a male-dominated society triggered the sense of sisterhood that Karsten observed, and that I experienced.

For example, one morning, Aisha, Karsten’s landlady, showed me how to make the flat, round loaves of bread that are served with almost every meal. As she demonstrated her muscular kneading technique, rotated loaves of bread in and out of the oven, and cut up vegetables for a tagine—all accomplished with her 2-month old daughter strapped to her back—we also managed to commiserate, in our mutually limited French, about the challenges of nursing a newborn throughout the night.

Surprisingly, this feeling of oneness wasn’t just limited to encounters with adult women. The hugs and kisses I received from the 12-year-old daughter of Karsten’s Tinghir host family made me feel like a revered and much-loved aunt. And then there was our 10-mile trek to Todra Gorge with Karsten’s Leadership Club.

The walk, which wound through the local oasis and up a dusty road to the gorge, took about four hours. While some of the boys reached out to me, I spent most of the hike surrounded by teenage girls who were determined to teach me a few words of Berber. By the time we reached the gorge, I had a vocabulary list. By the end of the day, I had been given cookies and candy, offered the use of a coat and some lip gloss, and had acquired several new Facebook friends.

I was lucky enough to see these girls on two more occasions, when we accompanied Karsten to his classes at the cultural center. I will never forget Hayat, who was both patient and persistent when teaching me how to introduce myself and ask others their name in her native language. And I will cherish my conversations with Kaoutââr, who will soon be leaving for the university to study medicine and whose nose is constantly in her schoolbooks. Nor will I forget the feisty Soukaina or the other Hayat, a tall, lanky athlete in a headscarf who can out-throw, out-catch, and out-run all the boys when participating in my son’s American football club.

Several times during our visit, Karsten mentioned the Peace Corps mission to help “promote better understanding of other people on the part of Americans.” I’d say they are achieving that mission.

The next time I look at a photograph of a Moroccan woman, I won’t see a stranger, I’ll see a friend.

Henna tattoos palms

 This post was also published today on Women’s Voices for Change.

Mid-day at the Oasis*

29 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by judithar321 in adult children, environment, friendship, health, inspiration, travel

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

family, food, gardens, Morocco, oasis

1-featurephoto

My son’s home in Morocco is right on the edge of an oasis. You only have to walk out his front door and turn right to step into an amazing landscape.

Karsten walks through the oasis on a daily basis. On this day, we were going to a friend’s house for lunch. We walked across a streambed, alongside an irrigation trough, and underneath a grapevine. Paul was a bit under the weather, so I had my son to myself that afternoon. After a year of missing him, it was treasured time.

2-acrossoasis 3-Let's go! 4-follow_irrigation 5-undergrapevine

We passed groves of date palms and olive trees.

6-oasis trees

7-olivegrove 8-olive

Like every other meal we were invited to in Morocco, this one included extended family. Our host’s parents, sisters, and nephews all joined us. A shy, but impish 4-year-old giggled as he rolled around on the floor with his djellaba-clad grandfather. After a delicious lunch of cous cous, we went outside and into the family’s walled garden.

wall

The small figs that go into savory dishes, like cous cous, grow here. (Click on the photos for a closer look.)

ekuran

As do dates. In the U.S., dates come separated in a plastic tub. In Morocco, you buy them in boxes and they are still attached to their stems. Until this garden tour, I had no idea what they looked like on the tree. These dates will be ready to pick in a few months.

dates

There were almond and pomegranate trees. The red flowers are pomegranate blossoms.

almondtree

pomegranates

At the end of the day, our host and his father walked us back across the oasis and home.

*I couldn’t resist.

“marhba bikom” — Welcome to Morocco

11 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by judithar321 in adult children, friendship, inspiration, travel, work

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Morocco, Peace Corps

upstairs

It’s a long way from Massachusetts to Morocco, and I’m not just talking about flight hours and time zones. The sounds and sights are a world away from my daily life at home.

As I sit in my son’s apartment typing this, I hear him conversing in Arabic with Abderhamane, his landlord. Earlier this morning I awoke to the eerie sound of the call to prayer reverberating throughout Tinghir, the small city where my son lives and works as a Peace Corps volunteer.

In a little while we will be joining Abderhamane and his family for lunch. In fact, my son’s fantasy of doing a lot of cooking with us while we are here may remain just that as we have similar invitations for almost every day of our visit. Friends, neighbors, and parents of students all want to welcome the “mama and baba” of Karim — the name he was given when he arrived here.

I have loads of photographs to share that show many of the colors and textures you have come to expect from Morocco.

cups

rugs-medina

There’s that special shade of blue covering the boats and doorways of Essauoira, a beach town where we spent an amazing two days…

bluedoor-studs

Photo by Paul Syversen

Photo by Paul Syversen

…and that you see every time you look up…

viewfromabove

or down.

pool

Then there’s the food.

Moroccan picnic

Moroccan picnic.

All of that is easy to share through photographs, but what will be more difficult to describe is the feeling of welcome I have had from all the people we’ve met here.

Because my son has lived here for a year and has many friends, we are meeting the real people of Morocco — not just those who make their living from tourism.

Their warmth and generosity is unlike anything I have experienced anywhere else. I hope to share those experiences — which can’t be summed up by photographs — in future posts.

downstairs

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