• About Judith A. Ross

Shifting Gears

Shifting Gears

Monthly Archives: January 2013

Fighting Boredom with Adventure

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by judithar321 in environment, pets, travel

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

boredom, dog walk, Mount Misery, Sudbury River

tracks

As difficult as this is to admit, our little Karina is not perfect. Not only does she eat sticks, she swallows them! At first this seemed like typical puppy behavior. And as she grew older, her craving for sticks seemed to abate. We thought that she was finally kicking the habit.

But, like many addictions, this one was not easily overcome. Paul did some research and, as we had begun to suspect, this recurring habit is a common symptom of boredom. Yup, our little princess is such a smarty pants that we have to keep her interested. Unlike me, she finds routine tedious rather than comforting. Imagine that!

So this week, we changed up our morning walks. On Tuesday, we went to Mount Misery. Yesterday, we did our usual route, only backwards. So far, so good, nary a stick was chewed.

This morning, we headed to a trail recommended by a fellow dog walker. When we set off, there were thick clouds overhead, and the temperature was closing in on 60 degrees Fahrenheit —January thaw on steroids.

Even though the mild temperature made my environmentalist side cringe, my inner fashionista was thrilled to forgo the down coat and wear my cool, new jacket — a Christmas present from Paul!

The ground was soft, and spongy, the air like velvet — in spite of a gusty wind.

Heading in

further in

The trail took us along the Sudbury River.

River

RiverView2

After a while it started to spit rain, but we kept going. Suddenly, the wind was whipping all around us, and we heard a long, loud, craaaack. The reverberations wrapped themselves around me. Karina bolted back to my side.

Was it thunder? After a few seconds, it became clear that the wind had knocked down what must have been an enormous tree on the other side of the river.

Giant trees swayed all around us, their branches ominously waving. The rain poured down in earnest. We ran back to the car.

Rain

We arrived home a bit wet, but no one was bored — and no sticks were consumed.

Jacket

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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (with apologies to Betty Smith)

28 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by judithar321 in aging, environment, inspiration, meditation, mid-life transition, music

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, Golden Festival 2013, Greenwood Cemetery, Raya Brass Band

Wise tree 2

We recently spent a weekend in Brooklyn. Older son was playing with Raya Brass Band in the annual Golden Festival — two nights of music and dancing. Balkan folk music comes in many forms and celebrates the joy, sadness, and complexity that makes life on earth so sweet.

By Saturday night the festival was in full swing, the sound level and crowds were intense. In one room, an enormous chandelier danced up and down to the beat.

So on Sunday, needing some quiet time, we took a short walk through Brooklyn’s Greenwood cemetery. Our goal was to find Leonard Bernstein’s grave. After a weekend of music, it seemed fitting to pay homage to the maestro.

Maestro

As we walked through, I wondered about the less famous people buried here. Who were they? Who was missing them? What had they done with their time on earth — and, for that matter, what am I doing right now with mine?

shelter Stones

detail

The gravestones provided some information.

Husband

But no specific answers. At least not to the questions I was pondering.

But then we came upon this tree with elephantine roots, its grip on the ground made  stronger by the passing years.

Roots

“Grab on to this awe-inspiring, irreplaceable planet with both hands,” it seemed to say. “We are privileged to live here. Celebrate your beautiful life!”

Before we got in the car, I stood and listened.  After two nights loaded with boisterous music, the only sound I heard was the wind rustling through the dried branches overhead. The earth was singing.

wind

Books by and for Women Are for Men, Too

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by judithar321 in books, friendship, health, inspiration, mid-life transition, work, writing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

A Band of Wives, boys and men, connection, feminism, mentoring, Our Bodies Ourselves, Women Entrepreneurs

1973covlrg

For the past few weeks, I have been up to my ears in women’s voices. It all started when I was asked to review Nothing but the Truth So Help Me God: 51 Women Reveal the Power of Positive Female Connection, a yellow and black-covered book filled with essays, poems, and artwork tackling a wide range women’s experiences: from self-love to friendship; modern motherhood to Mother Earth; from “finding yourself” to challenges of race and culture; and from overcoming obstacles to making mischief. The book provided this reader with several moments of recognition, a few Aha’s, and some eye-opening stories.

TruthCoverIn my review, published by Women’s Voices for Change, I compare Nothing but the Truth to that mother of all books by and for women, Our Bodies Ourselves.

It’s true, no one “gets” us the way other women do. I learned this lesson while in college, when I first opened Our Bodies Ourselves, turned to the section on birth control, and suddenly—when it came to concerns about my body—I was no longer alone.

Then, I was invited to participate with 16 other women in Women Entrepreneurs, Service, Connection, Community, an ebook in which we share our stories, wisdom, and perspective on the themes of service, connection and community.

collagebook-e1358170901507

While I don’t consider myself an entrepreneur, at least not yet, I am incredibly honored to be traveling with this pack of smart, savvy women.

You can download your own copy right here.

As my friend and colleague, Erica Holthausen, says in her introduction,

…  something  powerful happens  when  independent  people come together to support  and  encourage  one  another, especially  if  those  people are  all  women. Suddenly that fierce  independence is broken wide open to reveal  something softer, more vulnerable and very real.  Fierce independence is replaced by service,  connection and community.

Her introduction echoes the one by A Band of Wives founder, Christine Bronstein in Nothing but the Truth,

We know that women change each other’s lives just by being there for one another, and sharing these stories allows us to be more courageous, more authentic, and more loving to ourselves and others.

Both statements are true, yet there is something in each of these books for men, too. In fact, if I could go back in time to when my sons were still boys, I’d leave my battered copy of Our Bodies Ourselves out on the coffee table for their perusal. Why shouldn’t men get the inside scoop on sex, female orgasm, birth control, and pregnancy from a group of women?

And why not share our interior lives and connection to each other by having them read books like Nothing but the Truth? Or show them how women approach work and building a business? All three of these books contain lessons for everyone.

Women may hold up half the sky, but we rarely get even half a voice — no wonder books by and for women resonate so strongly with us. But if we share books like these with the men in our lives, perhaps their ears will become more attuned to what we have to say. Maybe then, even when powerful leaders don’t look like us, they’ll be more likely to at least sound like us. 

January Resolve

06 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by judithar321 in aging, art, inspiration, meditation, mid-life transition, writing

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

books, concentration, focus, multi-tasking, music, new year's resolutions

Birches

January is when we realize that the bills, the deadlines, and other unpleasantness we put aside for the holidays are still waiting. They didn’t disappear when we turned the last page of our 2012 calendars and entered the new year.

The color palette outside makes me realize that as much as I admire those clean-looking, all white interiors in design books, I could never, ever live in one. Even a pink-ish sky at sunset looks cold and lonely.

Cold Pink

There’s nothing like January, with its anemic sky, dirty snow, and “clean slate” reputation to make you take stock and focus. In fact, focus is one of my key words for 2013. I’ve never been one to write down New Year’s resolutions, so this is a first.

It’s time to rein in my dilettante tendencies, stop dabbling, stay off the internet, avoid the TV, and write more, read more, listen to more music, and do all of it with the intensity I had as a girl. Back then, my mom amused herself by saying nonsensical things to me while I was reading, just to see how long it would take to pull me back from wherever the book had sent me. In fact, it took several minutes before her voice would penetrate my fictional world and I’d look up, blinking as though awakening from a deep sleep.

These days, my eyes are on the book, but my brain is elsewhere — worrying about friends, thinking about the laundry, or anxiously tallying the balance in our bank account.

Gone too are the days when I would lie on my bed for hours listening to music, so fully caught up in its emotion that the world outside my bedroom walls ceased to exist.

Sometimes, often, writing pulls me into the “zone” where I am so engaged with the words that I forget about time, that loaf of bread I’d meant to start, or my loved one’s need for civilized conversation.

I want to transfer that intensity into other domains: to do more, feel more, know more. But I can’t do any of that without fully committing to the task at hand.

sunset

There are other words on my 2013 list as well, but first I’m going to concentrate on focus. The white days of January seem like a good time to start.

What about you? What are your words for 2013?

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