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Shifting Gears

Shifting Gears

Monthly Archives: October 2013

A Most Important Relationship

30 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by judithar321 in aging, friendship, health, marriage, mid-life transition

≈ 9 Comments

Stone sun dial

It has been nearly 32 years since my husband and I met at a neighborhood party. When we first started seeing each other, I had no idea where the relationship would go, but I suspected it would be an important one. I was lucky —we were lucky — to be in the same place at the same time, and in a situation that allowed us to connect.

Two years later, on a cold, rainy, November afternoon, we exchanged wedding vows.

I took the above photo while visiting some old friends whose relationship probably dates back to about the time I was born. I first met them when I was five years old, and they were a young, married couple with two careers, and one small child. Now in their eighties, they are, to all appearances, still good together.

It is impossible to know what goes on inside someone else’s marriage, but I’m guessing that they nurtured a healthy relationship while developing careers and raising five children by bending —sometimes towards each other, sometimes in opposite directions. Whichever way they curled, however, each knew that the other would be there to catch them.

When I was a kid I spent a lot of time at their house. Even with the chaos that comes with a big family, even if there was yelling, there were times when it felt safer than my own home across the street.

Ever since Paul and I have been together, home has been where he is, and there is no place I’d rather be. He is my best friend, my cheerleader, my teacher, my student, and I am all of those things to him. Even though we fill each of those roles differently, and life together isn’t always perfect or pretty, I am sure of our partnership because we discuss it often. 

He can fix almost anything, including a sore heart. He holds my heart in his big, capable hands every day, gently, and with great care. 

We are closer than those two pillars and just as strong. Our bodies may be less supple than they were 30 years ago, but in our life together we’ve become more flexible. Unlike those pillars, we are not made of stone: We can bend.

***

Friendship is also the topic of my guest post this week on Daily Plate of Crazy. Click here to read it.

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In October, Red Is the Color of Home

24 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by judithar321 in books, environment, inspiration, politics

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Bill McKibben, home, Oil and Honey, red, seasonal cycles, seasons

maple-closeup

What is home? It is the place where waking up to the sound of pots clanging in the kitchen, means that Dad is making his special Sunday pancakes. It is the rattle of the dog’s tags as she trots from room to room. Home is the velvety report of a son’s deep laugh seeping through the floorboards as he watches late night TV.

Home is warm, comfortable, familiar.

Home is also found outdoors in the honking of geese as they fly over the house during their spring and fall migrations. In June, it is where the hummingbirds return year after year to drink the nectar my husband prepares for them.

Home is predictable, reliable. It is found in the cycles of this gorgeous, irreplaceable planet — in its winter whites, spring greens, summer yellows, and autumn reds.

berries

field berries

In his book, Oil and Honey: The Education of an Unlikely Activist, writer and environmental activist Bill McKibben shares his “…two lives lived in response to a crazy time.” One life is that of McKibben the activist who travels around the world, fighting against the fossil fuel industry. That public, hectic life is punctuated by a calmer, more soothing one spent in the beeyards of his home state of Vermont, where he watches “… a very different, very beautiful way of dealing with a malfunctioning modernity.”

In describing the lessons he learns about environmental activism and beekeeping, and the facts and data that make halting climate change an urgent matter, McKibben is also composing an ode to home.

rake

No matter where he is or what he is doing, McKibben’s fight to save our planet is driven by an intense longing for home —both the planet that he and his fellow boomers grew up on, and his actual domicile. That desire weaves in and out of the narrative like a red thread through a complicated tapestry.

libraryshrub

“The old cycle we’ve always known is very nearly gone, but not quite,” he concludes. “It lingers yet, and while it does the fight is worth the cost.”

geraniumLonggeranium close

October Morning

20 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by judithar321 in environment, meditation, pets

≈ 4 Comments

going in

Crisp, cool, crystal-clear are the adjectives of the day. We walked quietly over a carpet of leaves.

fall carpet

leaves on water

ferns_moss

The tops of pine trees turned to feathers in the sun.

green feathers

The wind above us rubbed the bare trees together until their whines filled the air

cactus in the woods

And a medium-sized dog

stick break

was dwarfed by the old, old, trees.

big trees

We ended the walk in a big field, where Karina turned on the gas and expressed our joy at Being. Right Here. Right Now.

Video:

Field Trip to Brooklyn

14 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by judithar321 in adult children, environment, music, travel

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

"66 Square Feet", 66 Square Feet: a delicious life, Brooklyn, Marie Viljoen, Prospect Park, Raya Brass Band, wild food foraging

 NYC PumpkinsIt is October in New York and these residents, at least, aren’t happy to see this Red Sox fan. I’m a little slaphappy after our whirlwind, less than 48-hour trip to the big city and back.

Saturday night we were up until past 2 am partying with Raya Brass Band.

After a rowdy night and a little sleep (my ears barely had enough time to stop ringing), Older Son made us his usual 4-star breakfast and then we raced over to Prospect Park for a foraging walk. (I’m working hard to feel guilty about the pile of dirty dishes we left him with, but so far that’s not happening.)

As a result, many of my photographs look like I took them after being up all night. I actually considered going out and reshooting these plants in my yard: Ironically, I went all the way to Brooklyn to learn about wild plants that have been growing under my nose for at least 20 years.

The walk was with Marie Viljoen, author of 66 Square Feet: a delicious life. If you haven’t yet visited her blog, I suggest you put on some sturdy walking shoes and head over.

After a night that was months in the planning, and then giving his all while on stage, our musician still had enough game to start the walk by picking some salad.

dandelion greens october

Dandelion greens. Photo by Marie Viljoen. Used with permission. 

It turns out that a lot of plants that have been encroaching on my garden and annoying the heck out of me are actually wild edibles.

For example,

violets

Young violet leaves (not older ones like these), which grow freely all over our yard and have a tendency to take over one of my gardens, combined with lamb’s quarters (below)  will make a lovely salad.

Lamb's Quarters

These pretty little pink plants, called smartweed, that also run rampant around our grounds, are a Thai coriander — just the thing to zip up a meal.

Smartweed

Blue flowers on long stems began popping up among the vinca and other ground cover in my back garden. I was on the fence about them: liked the blue, didn’t like how pushy they are. Marie set me straight. They are called commelina and their shoots, flowers, and seeds are all edible (again, apologies for the tired, unfocused photo).

Commelina

These gallant soldiers have young leaves that taste like sugar snap peas, and can be cooked like spinach. Exactly the kind of motivation I need to do a bit of “weeding.”

Gallant Soldiers

Then there’s goutweed, its leaves add a delicious, herbal taste to salads. Here it is back home mixing it up with my european ginger. I tried pulling the stuff up, but it’s nearly impossible to uproot. In addition, Marie says that breaking off the roots will encourage it to send out more.

Goutweed

I guess we’ll just have to eat it.

My “Talking Art” Column about Heather Robinson

09 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by judithar321 in uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

One of the perks of hanging out online is that you can connect with interesting people all over the world. According to my bloglovin’ feed, I “follow” close to 40 blogs on topics that include travel, fashion, home design, food, politics, and writing.

In her blog,  “Lost in Arles,” Heather Robinson tackles all of the above and more — and she does it with an artist’s hand. Her work has inspired me in more ways than I can count.

I hope you will read and comment on my “Talking Art” column about Heather in the new issue of Talking Writing, which you will find here.

A blog about travels near and far, daily life, and issues that are bigger than all of us.

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